Lauren Mills

“Do whatever makes you happy.” Growing up, my parents continuously repeated this, but I never truly understood the depth and honesty of this statement until recently. 

When I was younger, I was obsessed with impressing my parents and all I wanted was for them to be proud of me. I studied hard, pushed for good grades, was a good student, and continuously changed my mind about what I wanted to do when I grew up. A doctor, a psychiatrist, an engineer; I would look up ‘hardest jobs’ or ‘highest paying jobs’ and examine these lists to see which stood out to me most, then, I would go home and tell my parents… “mum, dad, when I grow up, I’m going to be a doctor”. I did this because that’s what I thought they wanted, that’s what I thought all parents wanted… for their children to have difficult and high paying jobs, a career they could tell the family and their friends about, boasting about their beloved child who studied for 8 – 10 years of their lives and now earns a 6-digit salary. Why did I think this? Perhaps it was instilled in me by movies and TV shows? Perhaps it was because in school we only ever discussed the same 5 or 6 career opportunities? Or perhaps it was because all the kids in school would tell each other what they were going to be when they grew up and these conversations ended up being competitions about who’s job was harder or earnt more money. But each time I would go home and tell my parents my new career goal, their reaction would always be the same. They would tell me they would be proud of me no matter what and to do whatever makes me happy. This confused me. How come they weren’t impressed by the fact that I was going to be a doctor or a psychiatrist or an engineer. What job WOULD impress them? 

Looking back on it now, everything makes sense… they really were proud of me no matter what. After all the different jobs I told them I wanted, I think I made them most proud when I told them I wanted to be a journalist. Being a writer isn’t something that necessarily impresses people and it isn’t something that necessarily earns a lot of money, but when I told them my goal, they were impressed. They could tell this is what I actually wanted and they could tell this is what would make me the happiest; they had gotten what they’d always wanted for me. 

Your parents know you better than anyone, sometimes even better than you know yourself. I like to think that they always knew that I was going to be a writer and the reason I always got the same reaction was because they wanted me to figure it out for myself. I like the idea that they always knew what it was I truly wanted, even when I was too naïve to know myself. 

“Do what makes you happy”. I now live by this statement in all aspects of my life. If I were to tell people the best gift my parents have given me, it would be teaching me how to live for myself and helping me understand that the most impressive thing you can do is do what makes you happy.